I wrote yesterday about a recent spiritual retreat I took with some young adults I serve at my church.
During that experience, I wrote these words in my journal as I sat silently in front of this fountain. As you enter the whirlwind of your day, I pray that God uses my unedited prayer to encourage and strengthen your spirit. (And remember, God can take your honesty. Do you really think you’re going to tell Him something He doesn’t already know?)
God, I’m a hurricane and you’re a peaceful lake. I’m the storm on the move and you are rest. I long for your peace. I’m a ridiculous over-achiever (none of this surprises you). And so I long to know your comfort and peace, but I also long to achieve your will. I want to see numerical growth through my ministry. I want accolades from those above me. Notoriety, respect, recognition, and admiration.
As I sit here, I reflect on the fact that you love me. Before during and after all of my struggles and weaknesses. You just love me. You will love me when I grow old and cannot control my bowels. And you loved me when I was little and had to wear a diaper. When I think I control the world with email, my phone, and my creativity, you still love me. You are the only one who loves me just as I am.
And so often, I lose sight of that. Like this running water, constant and true.
Your love doesn’t waver.
My sin doesn’t undo it.
My success doesn’t increase it.
How could it?!
I pray that I – and these people here with me – would know and trust deeply in your love this morning. May you shine your face on all of us and grant us peace.