I am a prideful person who loves being able to take care of himself and not need basic help from other people.  This kind of existence makes me feel better about myself, inflating my ego and improving my self-image.  I live in a nation where this kind of thinking is encouraged, inspired, empowered and rewarded.  And I am not alone.

This week, a combination of unrelated circumstances have led to this reality being undone.  I start a new part-time job tomorrow.  My wife is on call for her job.  We have one car.  She has to have it.  I am co-leading an Ash Wednesday service.  I am without reliable transportation.  So, yesterday, Generous Friend A let me borrow her car to get my haircut.  Then Generous Friend B took me to our softball game and brought me back home.  Generous Friend C loaned me his car this morning, so I could get a government issued permit related to my job.  In a few minutes, Generous Friend D will let me tag along on his lunch run so I can get final supplies for the Ash Wednesday service I am co-leading tonight.  Tomorrow Generous Friend E will give me a lift to work and Friday Generous Friend C will do the same as well.

All of that is a lot and frankly, it humbles me to the very core.  I don’t like asking for help.  I don’t like being in need.  I don’t like being at the mercy of other people.  I like being in control.  The master of my fate.  The captain of my soul. (as one poet put it).

Funny thing is…with Generous Friends A-E…I didn’t have to twist any arms.  I didn’t have to promise them money or repayment.  Most of them asked if there was anything else I needed.  One person is helping me twice.  One made a standing offer for the same time each week.  I didn’t expect that.

In his recent podcast, Ask Seek Knock, Rob Bell of Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan spoke out of Matthew 7, sharing how often we miss the truth of Jesus’ teaching here.  How we use language like “I hate to have to ask you this, but….” or “I am so sorry to call this late, but…”.  He shared about late-night complications that happened in his wife’s recent pregnancy and his realization that he was using language like “sorrow” and “hate” to describe asking family and friends to cover things while they took her to hospital and got her healthy.  Sorrow and hate were words he used to describe his feelings at death and injustice, and yet he was using them to describe how he felt for having to wake up a friend late at night or having to get a family member to come over and wake up his kids for school.  The words he was using were far too strong, and they revealed something deeply wrong in his worldview and interaction with others.

I was slapped across the face by his teaching related to the way in which we like not needing people, frankly, not needing God too.  We like being able to do life on our own.  I like being able to do it on my own. This week has illuminated this truth for me.  I like not needing people, at least not in great ways.  Not make or break ways.  This week, My prayers have changed incredibly, increasing in frequency and urgency.  Why?  Because I actually have need this week.

May this Lenten season be for you a time where you see (for the first time or in new way) your desperate need for God’s grace amidst your own sinfulness and your need for other people in community.  May God allow your need to shift your relationship with Him and others, so that you know what the blessing of receiving the generosity of His grace and the generosity of His people.