I didn’t grow up thinking I was creative. I failed cutting in kindergarten and I got graded down in second grade because I sucked at coloring. Couldn’t fill in the space, couldn’t stay in the lines, didn’t read correctly and colored the wrong area with the wrong color. I never thought in a million years that I would be a “creative” or “artist”.

And now, I wonder – how is the change that has taken possible?? Did I just ignore obvious things? Was I oblivious? Because I think that I think very right-brained. I journal, I write poetry, I think non-linearly.

I have a project that I have been working on for several weeks. It is definitely something I have never done before. I have been involved in other’s projects like this. But now this was mine. It stretched me in ways I have never been pushed before. I experienced confidence, fear, frustration, isolation, connection – it was incredible.

Well this afternoon – as this project is coming to a close, I mean – maybe an hour before its done, this incredible feeling – it snuck up on me. And it blew me away. I was afraid for the project to end. I hated it. I wanted to scrap a whole portion of it. The frustration, pessimism and fear that swept over me was SO bizarre.

And then I realized – I have had this feeling before. That feeling you get when you have put so much into something that you kind of scared to let it go – the final product. When you have had something under wraps and its finally time for it to see the light of day. When its just been you and your creation and now its time for the world to meet it.

And that looming moment can TERRIFY us! It can scare us to the point that we give up when we are so close to the finish. It can scare us to the point where we shelf our project, never to let it see the light of day or the gaze of a person. We become so afraid of failure or disappointment that we just give up – within minutes or hours of the end.

I just finished reading the book of Deuteronomy now – I have read the Pentateuch (Genesis-Deuteronomy) in the last two weeks. Several phrases are now recurring themes, echoing in my head. But, one sticks out – “do not be afraid.” God has to continually remind Moses of this. Moses has to continually remind the people of this. Four simple words and they have to appear again and again.

So, if that moment has snuck up on you, don’t give in. You are not alone. Push through and finish the project. Bring someone in to support you and encourage you. Risk sharing it with the world. Your creation cannot become what it was meant to be if it remains attached to you – you have to let go and give it away.

That’s what I started to do tonight and what I will be doing for the rest of the week. I am gonna be repeating four little words to myself a lot.