This week, I have tried to describe why the kind of people you surround yourself with will impact the trajectory of your life. And I feel Home is an essential reality in our lives. As a result, who will make Home a reality? The kind of reality that enables us to be healthy, whole people who not only live purposeful lives, but also bring meaning to the lives of others.
For those who know me well, I think it is no surprise that I would choose someone like Maxie Burch for my fourth person. My friendship with Maxie is a reminder for me of what is right and wrong in the world. (I will unpack this in a second, but first the backstory).
When I met Maxie, he was my professor – the one who would continually lose me about 3/4 of the way through class each day. At some point, I learned how to track with him and he began to shape my faith, my view of the church, and so many other pieces of my life. He and his wife Lisa became “parents” for me here in Phoenix – there is nothing that a cup of Lisa’s sweet tea and a bowl of one of her homemade soups cannot solve! As the last five years have included unexpected transitions in our relationship, we continue to trust, push, encourage, and do life with one another. There are few people who pull of the mutual bluntness and transparency we share.
Maxie reminds me of everything that is right with the world. He is 53 years old and he is in the process of a mid-life transformation. He is learning how to fulfill his calling in a different setting than he ever expected. His commitment to continual growth, learning, and transformation embody what I think is right and good in someone in their 50s (when some begin to coast). Maxie doesn’t get that bewildered look when someone says podcasting, Twitter, Facebook, or blogging. But I still can’t convince him to use an iPod during his message to control his slides.
Maxie reminds me of everything that is wrong with the world. I count Max as one of my best friends, even though he is the same age as my dad. But there are not enough 25 year-olds like me, who have “best friends” that are in their 50s. As I discussed here last week, there is not nearly enough reciprocity being exchanged across generational lines. My friendship with Max is a constant reminder of the potential that is possible when the generations cut the broading sweeping generalizations off and decide to actually have a relationship with one another.
Everyone needs a good friend that is older than them (not just 8 or 10 years), but old enough to be a parent or grandparent. If Home is going to be a reality in your life, there needs to be more than one generation present.
Great post Scott. It obviously ties into the blog discussion from last week and yet it approaches the idea of the generation gap from a different perspective. I actually find this to be more convicting somehow maybe because it is so apparent that it is a genuine relationship.
I have a tendency to be distrustful of the generations preceding me and I have avoided going to church in places where I would expect to interact with them. Crash appealed to me because it was (for the most part) younger people, even younger than myself. I’ve never been to a morning service at north phoenix and I’ve not considered getting involved in anything outside of Crash based off past experiences. After reading this post I have a very real sense that by doing that I am missing out. Definitely something to pray about.
Thanks for the post
Melinda
I can totally relate to your struggle here. The thoughts and experiences behind these blogs have been stewing in me since the beginning of this year, maybe longer. Dani and I would love to help you find a place or two to connect in this kind of way, if you are interested. Just let us know. No promises that expectations won’t be fulfilled from time to time, but the present state of things cannot continue indeterminately.
speaking of the generation gap:
I am a member of a professional business women’s service organization called Soroptimist (the Mesa chapter). We have about 20 members and we meet weekly on Wednesdays for lunch, sometimes more often. The purpose of the club is camaraderie, fundraising, and giving back to the community, with no religious affiliations.
I’ve struggled being a part of the club because I am THE youngest member. By far. Nearly all are at least 30 years older than me.
I’ve been a member for almost a year now and a couple months back I struggled with whether I was going to continue my membership after the year because the age difference.
But the more time I spend with these women the more I realize they have a lot of experience to share with me, and occasionally we have a few things in common, including the desire to serve those in need.
The test is going to be next weekend when we have our Summer Retreat to plan our fundraisers. I graciously bowed out last year, but I’ve decided to bite the bullet and spend an entire weekend surrounded by about 10 older women in the middle of the woods in Pinetop Arizona LOL A four hour car ride. Then 36+hours in a cabin.
we’ll see what becomes….