The last two day’s posts have provoked enough feedback that I feel very affirmed for beginning this conversation here. I am so grateful to have you here, journeying with me. While we might not all agree with all of the facets of this gap or its similarity to gaps in past times, its presence and impact today is unavoidable.
As some of you have already begun to explore, the next step in this conversation is what can we do. What are we responsible for? What remains within our control to express our influence?
My natural tendency is to look for solutions that change EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY. I want to find the most influential person and get them to help me get everyone’s attention, so they can listen to what we have to say. But as I said earlier this week, this issue (like many others) is not something you can teach and preach someone out of. Initially, when I began to approach something like this, I want to fix the whole entire system with one fell swoop. But that’s not how change most often comes.
So how does it come and what can be done? I suggest we do the following five things.
1. Take responsibility for ourselves. A great part of my struggle in trying to understand and remedy this gap has been my tendency to go in search of others’ faults and seek out how they have wronged me. However, Jesus was very clear throughout the Gospels that the Pharisees were always searching for the sins and law-breaking in others, overlooking their own lives along the way. Matthew 23 is a pretty clear example of this. I am not responsible for the actions of members of the older generation that I do not know, but before I get fired up at people I don’t know who did things to my friends when I wasn’t involved myself, I need to look within myself. This is not a popular place to start, but it checks our spirit and motivation – which is often off-center before we even begin.
2. Lead with humility, admitting our own errors. Confession with a truly repentant heart has an incredible disarming ability. When we lead with “I have been wrong here and I missed it”, our audience hears words they do not expect. And when you are authentically broken and repentant over what you have been a part of, God uses that to convict and change the hearts of others. This is not what many of you were expecting. I am not saying, let’s take it to those people who wronged or who frustrate us. I am saying, let’s get in front of God, open ourselves up for Holy Spirit to reveal our own sin and brokenness, and then deal with that before we go looking for specks in the eyes of others.
3. Commit to not generalize and accuse a large group of people that we cannot possibly all know, understand or represent. This is the place where I get myself in trouble – A LOT. I meet a few bad apples and I assume the whole barrel is a lost cause. But it just is not true. Like one commenter on the blog yesterday, many of us carry with us the pain and disappointment of elders that we loved, cared about, and trusted, who disappointed us when they treated us with less than the respect and honor we feel we deserved. It takes an incredible amount of maturity to NOT turn “being wronged” into a bitter heart that sprays onto others both now and in the future. We must seek God’s help in dealing with our pain. The generalizations must die down on both sides if we are really going to get to know each other, so may this silence begin with us.
4. Find one or two members of the opposite generation of yours, and begin to cultivate a relationship with them. The solution to the generation gap comes when we realize that change begins on the individual level and gains momentum on the corporate level. Our focus must be on being the change we hope to see in others and praying like crazy that God would multiply our efforts. Seek to understand the opposite generation before you seek to have them understand you. Pray that God would open their heart to you and allow them to have influence in their generation, so this tide would be turned. Cultivate relationships that are reciprocal (involving give-and-take), marked by authenticity, vulnerability, humility, and trust. And allow God to work through that connection.
5. Tell your story. A huge part of this blog series was me getting the guts to go public with this. In a place where I didn’t know who would read this or what the consequences would be. This was a huge risk for me, and every day I wrestle with fear. But as I have told my story and shared what I am learning, I have found myself affirmed and together with others in ways I did not imagine. Your story has power too. Your story up to this point and your story after this point. If you decide to take responsibility for yourself, to lead with humility (admitting your own errors), to stop the generalizations, and begin to develop some real, reciprocal relationships that span this gap, then you are living a powerful story that is worth sharing. And your story can influence people from both groups to begin to live and think differently. Encourage those new older or younger friends to share their story as well.
What I am encouraging here is more organic and grass-roots than you might expect. And its probably slower than shooting for massive, efficient corporate change – but I think this is the way that people and communities change. It starts small and slow, but real and personal. Through the stories of God’s work, people begin to be drawn into the fold and amazing things happen.
Join me tomorrow for the final post in this series (for now), as I share some final comments and miscellaneous lessons from this week. I guarantee it will be the shortest post of the series! 
-Savage
Aptitude, Attitude, Altitude
Three simple words I use to measure the influence on employees as I begin to turn a company. Turning a company simply means I’m the guy you call when the company is on the skids and needs a major face lift. Almost like a SWOT analysis, Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Treat is gives me a quick at a glance evaluation.
Do I have the Aptitude to learn? This means I am willing to look at a different way to make pancakes? Yes I am willing. Do I lead with humility or better yet learn with the humility? Do I generalize quickly using the 80/20 rule? Am I the old dog that can’t learn new tricks? When I turn a company I balance it out with enough young people to question how and the age to say we have tried it. But more importantly getting the two generations to respect each other is a fun cultural change to watch. Show me and without prejudice I’ll try.
Attitude drives the cultural of all businesses, regardless if it’s a church or aerospace. My attitude is a little confusing when I take over a company. First my confidence has to be out there…in short don’t let them see you sweat. Also my attitude must be a clean slate to be written on until everyone has their opinions out of the way. My attitude is often confused as an egomaniacal, self serving, and politically incorrect. But my secret attitude is seeing others succeed and my methodology may be odd and contrary but it’s my business senses that keep me alive. In short, I’ve sinned in the name of profit so many times it’s a dangerous nature…teach me a better way.
Altitude. A pilot once told me he is no better than his last landing. Altitude in business means you are not flying by the seat of your pants, in the dark, and with a loose joy stick…in short are you gaining altitude? As we see each other loosing elevation what do we do to help? I hate it when someone says, “I told you so.” Or as my mother use to say, “I’ve had it up to here,” while pointing at the top of her head. My thoughts where why didn’t you stop me when it reach knee high? So if you see me heading nose down to the dirt for God’s sake yell at me if you have to.
Michael
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