“He who loves his dream of community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter…If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even when there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty; if on the contrary, we keep complaining that everything is paltry and petty, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow.” –Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

“There is no ideal community. Community is made of people with all their richness, but also with their weakness and poverty, of people who accept and forgive each other, who are vulnerable with each other. Humility and trust are more at the foundation of community than perfection.” -Jean Vannier, Community and Growth

Here’s the struggle. Here’s the rub. Find me a relationship that you have had that was EVERYTHING you intended for it to be. Because that’s not my experience. I have never had a relationship in my life turn out the way I planned or dreamed it would…that does not mean that my life is not full of meaningful, healthy relationships that inspire me, encourage me, and help me become daily the person that I need to be. But, life does not always turn out as planned.

What about you? I am not saying that you have a bad marriage or superficial relationships. But, are the relationships in your life – are they EXACT representations of your original mental pictures? If the answer is no they are not, then having healthy relationships in your life means dealing with what happens when your dreams and reality don’t match exactly as cards do in a game of Concentration. Sometimes when our dreams don’t become reality, the reality we find is different than our dreams, and often beyond our imagination.

I had a conversation with a man today that I cannot shake. I have reads book after book, and been able to lay my head on the pillow just fine, falling asleep without another thought. And then I have had conversations like this – where I cannot sleep because the story of someone’s life rings in my mind like an echoing guitar solo.

I never imagined that my night would include a conversation like this. And I think that not meeting expectations can be a good thing sometimes!