Getting over that Monday morning hangover

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I do my best to keep my blog posts here as open and relevant as possible to all of my readers. But today, I feel compelled to share how with my pastor and church staffer friends. Many of us suffer from a weekly phenomenon I call “Monday morning hangover”. A long Sunday leads to a full calendar Monday without a full energy tank.

I know that I have Monday morning hangover from several symptoms. First, I get in the car to drive my wife to work and instead of turning towards her office, I instinctively turn towards the church. She corrects me and we get a good laugh out of the experience. Second, I get in later that I want, lack the focus I desire and get behind in my task list by the time I hit the meeting schedule that takes out most of my day. Third, I don’t have the creativity and imagination to find words for sermons, lessons, emails or blogs that I normally find easily. Work is tougher than normal. Four, a disappointing conversation, lackluster attendance numbers or an error on my part devastates me in an unreasonable manner.

So, how do you kick the Monday morning hangover? I do it in five ways.

1. Exercise. I do my very best to exercise every Monday morning. I need it most on Mondays and if I get Mondays in, I typically make it happen the rest of the week. Currently, I am running 5-5.5 miles on Mondays and that 50-55 minutes is a great time to push back the fatigue and get a fresh wind for the week. Whether you lift weights, walk, run, or do a program like P90X or Insanity, break a sweat on Monday morning.

2. Get into the Scriptures. And not just for your next sermon or lesson. This month, I have been reading the book of Acts. So this morning, I listened to Acts 16-23 during my run. Allow God to minister to you before you attempt to minister to anyone else.

3. Pray. Take time to get before God and thank Him for a new morning, full of new grace and mercy for you and all you lead. Pray for the needs you discovered on Sunday, for the people who made decisions and commitments. Repent for the blunders you made and thank God for using someone like you to further His kingdom.

4. Spend time with some people encourage you or in some activity that encourages you. In 2010/2011, I tutored a 2nd grader on Monday mornings. If nothing else, I knew that hour was well-spent. I knew that for those 60 minutes with that one boy, I was making a difference by helping him improve his English, gain confidence in reading and feel valued by someone older. I take time on Mondays to call or IM friends who will encourage me. I make sure and laugh with co-workers. I read a few blogs that renew my perspective and fill me with hope. I talk with teammates about good things God did over the weekend and we celebrate them together.

5. Drink some coffee. If you knew me, you knew I had to put it in there. I don’t overdo it on Mondays, since I typically do caffeine in the morning AND afternoon on Sunday. But I grab some java after my run on Monday mornings. It definitely takes the edge off and I love that bean water.

Regardless of whether you are a pastor or church staffer or a teacher or involved in business, I hope that today is day full of encouragement and hope for you. If you are struggling, consider one or all five of these things as some ways that God could renew you and your perspective today.

I thought you hated rules!

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I follow Tim Schrader, a church communication guru. I read his blog and enjoy his tweets. Tim’s posts are full of insight and I like his spirit. Recently, he shared a picture that he found on Jeremy Cowart‘s Google Plus feed. (Cowart is an incredible photographer, the brains behind Help Portrait). The picture (which I have posted below) includes 9 rules for creatives.

Now, my first thought was “Creatives don’t like rules. So that title is ironic.” As I waited, I realized that rules are like boundaries, and creativity thrives within boundaries. Even sometimes in proportion to the amount of boundaries.

As I have reflected on these rules several times over the last week or so, the one that resonates the most with me is teach others about what you know. I am a verbal processor and so the longer I talk, the more I comprehend what I believe and the more I clarity I get. God bless my wife who is often the victim (or listener, however you want to look at it) in this process. My creativity grows and expands and I connect ideas as I share them with others. As I teach what I already know, and as others repeat back to me and reflect on what I’ve said, my ideas get better, clearer and more portable. Twice this week, I have pitched ideas to coworkers, airing the concepts outloud for the first time and by the time we were done, my ideas were more developed and my next steps were obvious. When I teach others what I already know, my energy increases and my creativity expands.

I know creatives and artists are supposed to hate rules, but we are also supposed to not shower, be poor, miss meetings and be unreasonable. Rules can guide us into greater art if we submit to them like the boundaries of a medium, a subject or a timeframe.

Question: Whether you are a creative, an artist or you miss drawing with crayons, which of these 9 rules resonates most with you? 

Steve Jobs, St. Francis of Assisi and My Church

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“Preach the Gospel at all times. And when necessary, use words.” -St. Francis of Assisi

I bought a t-shirt with this quote on it when I was a teenager at a conference for Christian students. I heard these words repeated many times in books, sermons, arguments, and blog posts. These words were used to justify being an example to others, not ramming the good news down someone’s throat (ramming and good news never go well together). During a different season in my life, I used this quote to question the motive what I called “drive-by evangelism”.

Somewhere along the way, the original saying (attributed to Francis) got shortened to – “Preach the gospel; if necessary, use words“. St. Francis was a well-known monk, whose work and writings in the Middle Ages continue to influence many today. There is just one problem with this popular and well-known saying – St. Francis didn’t write it.

Those words cannot be traced to any writings or sermons of St. Francis, nor any stories told about him within 200 years of his death. The first appearance of this phrase with attribution to St. Francis was 200 years after his death. Long after those who lived with him were dead as well. Many believe that someone said this and tagged St. Francis’ name on it, so it would get more press.

A modern equivalent would go something like this. You create a cool gadget or device. You want it to be successful and marketable. So you say Steve Jobs helped design it. You share a quote from Steve, about how he thought it was pretty cool. Since he was the brains behind the iPhone and the iPad and the MacBook Air (and those are all pretty cool), the general public believes this must be pretty cool too. The only problem is that Steve Jobs didn’t really make it and the product is nowhere near incredible.

The problem with those infamous words from someone other than St. Francis isn’t just that Francis didn’t say that (although we could argue whether the words reflect his spirit). The problem is that it puts into question whether our words are necessary. And words are incredibly necessary. They are essential.

Now, I have seen some people who have been all words and no action. They preach at a person about hell and sin, while the person is hungry or thirsty or in serious physical need. It’s like the infamous quote from Peanuts where Snoopy is begging for food and Charlie Brown tells him to “Be of good cheer” and then goes on his merry way. That’s not the right approach. However, some overreact and say “we are just going to show them the gospel, show them love, and if we need to, we will open our mouths too.”

But that’s just as much over the edge as the person we are reacting against. Both matter (words and deeds), both are important. And you are going to have to determine which are needed in the moments and relationships you are in. In the book of Matthew, chapter 5, Jesus says the following.

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. 

The problem for all of us is that everything we do preaches. The moments we are trying to preach something and the moments we are not. So, we are preaching something at all times. And it is ridiculous to think about preaching and sometimes getting around to words.  I read a response recently to the alleged St. Francis of Assisi quote where someone said, “Feed the hungry. If necessary, use food.” Preaching is not the only way we share the Gospel – this sarcastic response simply isn’t accurate.
Whether we are serving at a local school as a tutor or mentor or telling a story of God’s love through a neighborhood Vacation Bible School, we need words and deeds. To open our mouths and open our hands. I am so grateful to be a part of a church that is committed to being salt and light, to being the hands and feet and mouth of Jesus where God calls us. We are doing our best to be both and to equip our people to do both, whether we have a cool quote to attach it to or not.
If you have thoughts on this quote or this post, I would love for you to share a comment below.

A powerful story of forgiveness

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My pastor, Dan Yeary, came to me this fall and asked if I had heard of Afshin Ziafat. I had not, so I did what any 27 year old pastor does. I typed in his name into Google and YouTube. Within a day, I was blown away by the powerful story of transformation that God had done in the life of a boy who was born in the USA, lived in Iran, fled a political revolution, and experienced persecution in America. Afshin now has a platform to share the Gospel with thousands of college students every week. When we got a chance to invite Afshin to join us at NPHX in January 2012, we jumped at it.

As we decided to begin 2012 at Crash with a series on forgiveness, I knew that Afshin’s story would be a powerful way to end this conversation about how we can break away from the toxic power of un-forgiveness. And I am incredibly excited for him to be at NPHX this upcoming weekend. You can learn more about Afshin’s story and his sharing this weekend at our church here.

Invite a friend to come with you. Someone who has questions about God, someone who struggles with doubts and frustrating past experiences with religious people. Ask them to join you on Sunday morning at 10:30AM or Sunday evening at 6PM.

If you want to check out a little taste of Afshin’s story, check out the video below. And then join me in praying passionately for God to do great things when we come together.

I can only be half the person Jesus was

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Many of us have forgotten that we celebrated Christmas a few weeks ago. We have a struggle keeping that season and reality in mind throughout the whole year. For example, if you attend church, you will hear sermons from passages of the Scripture during the Christmas season that you will not hear from during the rest of the year. It is as if those passages are seasonally, not perenially, relevant. Even the concept of the Incarnation (God taking human flesh in the person of Jesus) gets a lot of noise and attention during December but much less fanfare the other 11 months.

One of the most significant verses that we read during the Christmas season is John 1:14. In the NIV, this verse reads, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.” But we miss the rest of the verse – “We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” 

It is that final phrase “full of grace and truth” that I have been chewing on lately in my personal moments of reflection and prayer. Maybe I find those words to be timely because they are so absent in election season and political campaigning. Maybe it is because I have been in conversations or relationships where just one or the other was present, not both. I have talked with people who classify themselves as a “grace person” or a “truth person”, as if it were only possible to be one or the other.

When someone asks me about my religious stance, my answer is typically, “I follow Jesus and I happen to attend a Baptist church.” I have overheard many that I know use the phrase “follower of Jesus” or “Christ-follower” to describe someone that might also be known as a “Christian”. From where I sit, if we are following Jesus and becoming more like him, it is always BOTH, full of grace AND truth. We do not have the luxury of embracing just one or the other.

What I find even more intriguing is that Jesus was full of grace and truth, but he seemed to express different postures and responses to different groups based upon their response to Him. To those who broken and knew it, he was full of grace. To those who were arrogant and religious, he was brutally truthful. To those who were open and listened, he was full of grace. To those who were closed off, he was full of truth. To those who said, “Please forgive me”, he extended grace. To those who said, “I will not forgive others”, he brought harsh truth.

In a world where anonymous comments viscously attack one another on blogs, where wusses turn into warriors behind a keyboard, in a culture where we attack first and ask questions later, where we reach for labels and judgment quickly, where we seek to condemn before we seek to understand…what would it look like to follow Jesus? To be like Him? To be full of grace AND truth?

I think this one verse, John 1:14, is a picture that we need to embrace and meditate on in 2012. I think we all need to be full of grace and truth, as we follow the One who can do more than we ask or imagine within us by the power of his Holy Spirit.

Where does this idea challenge you the most?

What’s your biggest roadblock to being a person that is full of grace and truth?

The conversation about manhood in America

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Over the past several months, I have discovered a conversation taking place in several venues regarding the state of manhood in America. Some venues are very religious and others are incredibly secular, even anti-religious.

At TED, an incredible conference for leading thinkers in the area of technology, education and design, Phillip Zimbardo asked the question “Are we headed for the demise of guys?” and challenged the TED community to pursue solutions. You can watch the 5 minute video here.

Later, I discovered an article in Relevant Magazine which created a great deal of buzz, regarding the ongoing conversations regarding gender roles and our conceptions of what manhood looks like. You can check out that article here.

I have continued to reflect on these two pieces again and again over the last month. I know this can be a fairly polarizing issue. But I feel drawn into defining the problem and addressing solutions. As a 27 year old husband, soon-to-be father of a son, a pastor who primarily works with young adults, and a friend to so many twenty-something men, this is not a theoretical issue. But it is a difficult challenge nevertheless.

So, I would love to know your thoughts on it and I look forward to fleshing out mine in a future post here on the blog. For now, watch the video and read the article. THEN, share a comment below. I am going to moderate comments on this one to keep everyone honest!

In light of these two pieces, what do you think of the state of manhood in America?

the more you gain, the more you have to lose

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Every time I succeed, I have more to lose. The greater success I discover, the more tempted I am to avoid risk and play it safe. This thought process plagues many of us, whether we are exploring relationships or doing business.

I thought about this reality this past weekend when I was making final preparations to share in both Sunday servies at North Phoenix Baptist Church. I highly value transparency in the messages I bring and I look for opportunities to share moments where I have been “the hero or the villian”. I think we connect with one another far more deeply through our failures than our success and so I look to offer that to others. But I wondered if others would think less of me if they knew of a broken place in my life.

I have been surprised though as God grants me more and more platforms from which to share. It is scarier and riskier to be “that honest”. To go THAT real. Every time, vulnerability and transparency can terrify us. However, these are the paths to great relationships and I believe God honors our willingness to go out on a limb to meet someone else in their place of need.

Courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu/photo/836878

I read a small bit of Henri Nouwen every day. The late Catholic priest and Ivy League professor is full of incredible wisdom and spiritual insight. A few days ago, I read these words and they resonated in me.

There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over its development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another’s wounds. Let’s remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.

-Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey

“Intimacy is the fruit that grows from touching one another’s wounds.” Now that may be a far too emotional thought than you feel comfortable with engaging. You may feel that you have to surrender a man card to go down that road. But I believe intimacy is the greatest fear of many of us. We are terrified of truly being known.

Today, I challenge you to consider Nouwen’s words and your own fears. If you put all your eggs in the basket of success, you will have more to lose with each additional gain. However, the path to the fruit God intends for us to bear comes through acknowledging and owning our dependency on the Holy Spirit for all we need. In John 15, Jesus said, “I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing.” We need that community that Nouwen described, that is born through “shared brokenness”.

Ever been there? Care to share? Share your story in the comments below.

 

The Day My Grandfather Met Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

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If you had the blessing of knowing your grandparents, you know that their best gift to you was two-fold: love and stories. I am blessed to still have all four of my grandparents alive. I know of their deep love for my brother and I. And they certainly told me many stories.

One of the stories I remember most vividly is the story of when my mom’s father, Ed Finlay, met Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. In advance of today, a day when we honor all that Dr. King did and stood for, I emailed my grandparents and asked them to write down the story. For me, for my blog readers, and so that I can tell the story to my children. So, I turn it over to Ed Finlay. This is his story. 

Ed and Janie Finlay with me at my graduation from seminary (May 2009)

I had been invited by Columbia University to deliver a paper on how to do long-range college and university planning, my area of expertise. I arrived in New York on Sunday evening in order to be available for the Monday morning session. It was Mother’s Day and a wet and miserable night.

There was something going on, a backup of some sort in the street, and the cab couldn’t get me to the hotel entrance, letting me off instead at thecorner. So I was lugging a suitcase in one hand and case of carousel slides in the other as I approached the New York Hilton. As I walked under the covered driveway I noticed there was no doorman in attendance although there was a cluster of five or six men talking by the door.

I was getting ready to free up my right hand by putting down a bag when the gentleman closest to the door reached out and pulled it open when still focused on the group he was with. As I went by him and verbally expressed thanks he nodded and glanced toward me. I recognized Martin Luther King, Jr. immediately. I had somewhat followed his career and had been especially touched by his “Letters from the Birmingham Jail”. Now I found myself touched by his simple act of courtesy, seemingly instinctive.

There were no cameras around; the others in the group didn’t even seem to notice the help he’d provided. But he had really helped me out.

Later, after checking in (a long process on a busy night) and getting a bite to eat, I punched the “up” button on a bank of eight or more elevators. I got on, punched in my floor number and off we went. But only to the Mezzanine. The door opened and in walked MLK and his bodyguard. I said, “Hello again” and he laughed and replied, “Are you stalking me?”

“Hardly!” I replied, “I got on the elevator first, remember.” We exchanged a few pleasantries – he was in NY to raise money and I, to deliver a paper – said “Goodnight. Good luck.” And that was that – or so I thought.

On Tuesday morning I boarded a Delta Air Lines flight back to Houston by way of Atlanta. Yes, it happened again. Right before the flight was to take off, MLK and his bodyguard boarded the flight and sat down almost directly across the aisle from me. Imagine the odds of that happening. He laughed that his bodyguard would have preferred him in the middle seat but he liked the aisle as did I. Again we chatted a bit – he had raised a good amount of money; my talk had gone well – and then we each picked up something to read. I said goodbye to him when he got off in Atlanta and never saw him again. A few years later he was assassinated.

I can’t say I like everything I knew or later learned about Martin Luther King, Jr. but I will always remember that rainy night when he did what seemed to  be “second nature” to him and opened the door of a big NYC hotel to help out a fellow human being whose hands were full.

-Ed Finlay

Many of us remember Dr. King most vividly for his brilliant Letter from Birmingham Jail (which I encourage you to read today) or the iconic “I Have a Dream” speech. But my grandfather’s strongest memory of Dr. King was when “I found myself touched by his simple act of courtesy, seemingly instinctive.” 

May God bless you today with an opportunity to extend a simple act of courtesy to another person. May we recognize our opportunity to serve those we meet today in Jesus’ name as Dr. King did. May we experience his famous words, “Everyone can be great because everyone can serve.” I believe he lived those words the night he opened a door for my grandfather in New York City. 

generosity hangover

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As we come to terms with all of the food we ate during the holidays, many of us dig our running shoes out of the closet, use a gift card to buy new workout gear and re-up our membership at the gym. We make it out of the sugar hangover from all the sweets we received as presents in December and do our best to start the year off healthy.

It turns out that our health and fitness aren’t the only things that change drastically in January. Our involvement in good causes does as well.

Photo courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1330423

In my limited experience, I have found that January is one of the hardest months for non-profits and charities. A waiting list for volunteer opportunities at the Ronald McDonald House in December becomes a sea of openings in January. A mass of year-end gifts in December turns into massively under-budget in January. First-time volunteers in December don’t always translate into regular volunteers in the new year.

Frankly, many are ”tired” from Christmas serving, when some served because it was tradition, the timing of the calendar or simply a cultural act that made them feel better. I don’t think it is bad to serve during the holidays; I have just listened to the cynicism and frustration of the workers in organizations that feel the brunt of what I call the “holiday hangover” or the “generosity hangover” in January.

So what can you do? Well, pick something. If you gave financially in December, consider giving in January too or become a monthly supporter. If you served in December, give it another shot this month. I am sure there are openings! If your company or group had a great experience serving during the holidays, then send out a memo or email or start the conversation about doing it again.

I’m not speaking from a place of perfection here. I have been guilty of this kind of thing far too many years. But, this year, I am looking forward to serving dinner at a local transitional facility for men on January 31st, where I have been serving monthly since this past April. The same facility where we served the week before Christmas. Where we outfitted an apartment where a single mother lives with hundreds of dollars in supplies. The same facility where we gave Christmas presents to men making a fresh start.

I encourage you to take one step to fight back the fog of the generosity hangover. I know it will encourage someone who devoted their life to that cause to know your support isn’t seasonal or tradition. You might change their January from a sulky disappointing month, to one that is full of joy and expectation. 

If you are looking ideas on where to get started serving in the new year, my church has set up a great piece of our website to help you take your next step in that area. Check it out here.

I can run faster and you can too! (a running post about much more than running)

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Photo courtesy of sxc.hu/1090940

On October 30, 2010, I ran my first race ever. I ran that 5K in 25:20. I shocked myself. I had never run that fast before and I had only run that distance once in my life. After a round of the Insanity DVD program this spring, I began running seriously this fall. Some landmark days are listed below.

October 25, 2011. 2 miles, 25 minutes. (First day on new season of running)

November 14, 2011. 4 miles, 44 minutes.

December 9, 2011. 4.5 miles, 51 minutes.

December 14, 2011. 5 miles, 60 minutes.

January 6, 2012. 5 miles, 50 minutes.

January 10, 2012. 6.1 miles, 69 minutes.

The last three months have been me going further and longer than I ever have before. I have been challenging myself to regularly show up and give it all I have. Over the holidays, a friend pushed me; she told me that I could go faster than 11 or 12 minute miles. She was right! All it took was having to go to the bathroom VERY BADLY (sorry, TMI I know) with 1.5 miles to go to speed me up from 12 minutes to 10 minutes per mile on January 6. Yesterday, I ran further than I have ever run in my life. I never thought I could run that I could run a 10K, but I did today. It has been an incredible “run” (no pun intended).

As I run further and faster than ever before, I am realizing that in other areas my limits are not what they seem either. I can preach better and briefer. I can listen better, write better, plan better, prepare better. I can be more teachable and handle criticism better. I can withstand the pain of discipline longer and let go of things I thought I couldn’t live without. For instance, Dani have been without cable for nearly two years now and sharing one car for nearly three. When we got married, I wouldn’t stomach the idea of letting go of either.

I didn’t set any new years resolutions this year, but one change I decided to make before I got to “making resolutions” season was to push myself harder and challenge myself greater in the future. I don’t want this to be a year where I coast. I feel challenged and inspired in so many areas of my life. I am dreaming dreams bigger than ever before and I am believing God for greater things than I have a in long time.

You may be giving it all you got and you’re sucking air like I was at the end of that 5 mile/50 minute run last week. Awesome! Keep going.

But, there are a lot of us who hide behind fear and uncertainty and give less than all we’ve got. And that needs to end.

I have a friend who is “getting what he asked for” when he decided to stop just talking about starting his new company. He is still working his day job, but no his weekends are jammed pack and he has dealt with some double-booking scheduling madness. It is harder for us to get together than it used to be. But he is maximizing his gift. He is turning down the fear knob and leaning in with courage.

In 2012, go for it. Step out in faith. Go further than you’ve ever gone before. Set that personal record. Put that audacious goal on paper. Speed it up – run instead of jogging. Join me this year in leaving less in the tank and more on trail of life. Its really is better that way.